Self-Reliance

If the word isn't obvious enough, it simply means "reliance on ones own powers and resources rather than those of others."

It means you trust your own capabilities, your struggle, your judgement as well as your independence. 

However, very few things are self-reliant and a young adult is definitely one of those "things" that aren't.

"If you think you can do it, or you think you can't do it, you are right." - Henry Ford

People don't seem to truly realize just how powerful the mind is.

If you tell a child they'll amount to nothing, and you continuously remind them of that fact, eventually they'll start to believe that. This will also transfer to their lifestyle and their career decisions.

It takes a strong person to break away from that mental cage of negativity and it's even harder to maintain an independent lifestyle.

As a young adult, I've had my fair share of "down in the dump" moments where I didn't think I was good enough or I didn't believe I could accomplish something.

(Please note: I'm not saying that my parents put me down, absolutely not, they're extremely supportive)

I'm sure we've all been there at some point in our lives.

As time went on, I began to rely less on myself and more on others, to pick me up when I had fallen. 

This made me vulnerable and quite weak and at times, I was taken advantage of emotionally because people were aware that at that stage, I was easy to manipulate.

Like the quote states, if you think you can do it, you are right. However in my case, I didn't think I could make myself happy or accomplish my goals, so I began to believe and live with those thoughts festering away within my mind.

So put those bad thoughts + the emotional trauma and you get a disaster.

These thoughts of course grew overtime into horrible, deep, dark thoughts that I couldn't share with anyone.

Not even my closest of friends knew what was going on inside of my mind.

Eventually I slipped into a state of depression where I couldn't leave the house. I didn't want to see/face anyone for fear that they would realize just how withdrawn I had become. 

I didn't want those people causing me pain to realize just how far they had gone, and maybe I was wrong to hide. Maybe I should have let them see just how damaged I had become.

That's one thing I'll never know. 

During this stage, I realized just how irrelevant they were to my life and how negative their presence was. So I cut ties with them altogether and I started anew. 

I knocked myself down and started from scratch.

I reflected on how battered I was emotionally and I started there. Each morning, I'd force myself out of bed and I'd tell myself it was going to be a great day. At first, in the back of my mind, there was this annoying nagging. I'd still think I was tricking myself into believing that everything was okay.

So I came to terms with that thought also. Everything wasn't okay at that point. I was still hurting, I was still confused. 

I began meditating as a form of release or in some cases as a way of distracting myself and I noticed such an amazing improvement.

I began writing down my thoughts, the good and the bad.

Then I began to build my foundation. I drew out plans for myself. I began to dedicate my life, to myself. As strange as that sounds "dedicate my life, to myself." but truly, I had been living my life to please others and it was time to put a stop to that.

It was the way to go. I no longer focused on what people thought of me. I no longer held high their opinions on what they thought I could and couldn't do.

I began focusing on my thoughts. On my mind. On my body. On my soul.

I pushed myself past the limits of that mental cage of negativity and it was the most amazing feeling ever.

To finally be able to look myself in the eye and smile. To know that I had the power to say yes or no and mean it.

It was in that moment that I realized that I was once the villain and I had overcome that and become the superhero.

I'm not saying that I'm where I want to be. No. My life is still progressing and I'm still learning, but I've laid my foundation and that's the key to anything you wish to succeed in.